One of Those Nights

– Posted in: Cleaning, Food, Grosser than Gross, Pregnancy, Puke, This Is Supposed to be Fun, Worst Mom Moments

This is the second visit to World’s Worst Moms for Rachel Kargas, who blogs at Get Real Mama. With two little ones in the house and one on the way, chances are it won’t be her last.

And just a reminder: World’s Worst Moms is giving away a $25 gift card to Starbucks! You get one entry each time you: 1) leave a comment, 2) become a follower (let us know in comments), or 3) like us on our Facebook fan page.

Winner will be drawn on March 9th.

Let me start this off with a list of excuses.

I’m pregnant.

I had a long day in the office, and a long commute to and from work.

My husband was traveling.

I had a headache.

I had a backache.

I was tired.

Did I mention that I am pregnant?

And then the story: (Please keep this list of excuses in the back of your mind while reading my tale of bad mommyhood.)

This week, after a long day at work, our nanny picked me up at the BART station with the kids in the backseat. They were hungry. I was tired. They were tired. We were all crabby. Perfect night for Subway, the least offensive of the fast food chains. . . right? My children for whatever reason have a love affair with Subway. Perhaps it has something to do with the Cheetos. My boys love their Cheetos. I suppose that ordering Cheetos defeats the purpose of going to a healthier fast food restaurant, but now I am getting off track.

We went to Subway. I ordered the kids the usual, only I substituted the Cheetos with apple slices, promising a trip to the frozen yogurt place next door if they did a good job on their sandwiches. Why? Because my kids really need more crap to eat? No, because as mentioned earlier, I’M PREGNANT AND I WANTED FROZEN YOGURT. . . damn it.

We sat down to eat our sandwiches. My five-year-old did a pretty good job on his ham and cheese, the two year old however, did not. “Take a bite sweetie” I would prompt, to which the stubborn toddler would respond by taking a mouse sized nibble on the bread. After about 20 minutes I gave up. I started to gather up our garbage when the very same two year old started crying, “I threw up! I threw up!” And so he did, all down his shirt and his pants and on the seat. He wasn’t upset because he felt sick, he was devastated because there was stinky vomit on his favorite monster shirt. I knew that he wasn’t ill, and that most likely he choked on a bit of the apple slice he was slowly nursing, thus I did a half-ass job of cleaning him and the booth up before ushering both boys out the door.

My son did not do a good job on his dinner and was now covered in vomit, but did this deter me from my mission to consume soft serve frozen yogurt? Nope. Sure I should have stuck to my guns and informed my little puke covered monster that because he did not eat his dinner we were not going to get a treat. Sure, I probably should have taken my stinky child straight home to change him out of his filthy clothes. But no, no, I did no such thing. I had chocolate soft serve with cookie dough topping on my mind, and I was going to enjoy it, which meant I would buy both boys whatever they wanted in order to avoid a whole bunch of whining.

We marched into the frozen yogurt shop and I purchased the kids two junior cups with sprinkles, and got a much larger treat for myself. We sat down to dessert and within moments Mr. Vomit dropped his dish on the floor with rainbow sprinkles flying everywhere. Luckily, or unluckily, the yogurt mostly stayed in the cup, and I decided to abide by the five second rule, which probably shouldn’t apply in public restaurants, but I was tired, the line was long, and what the heck, a little floor scum wouldn’t kill him right? RIGHT?

We got home right around bed time, exhausted. Although one child had vomited all over himself, and the other has dirt permanently crusted under his fingernails, I opted to skip the bath, because that is a whole different battle.

I got my two dirty boys tucked into beds, which probably had semi-dirty sheets.

I went downstairs and turned on the Real Housewives and thought to myself. . . man tonight was not best effort.

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14 Comments… add one

Anonymous March 3, 2011, 5:45 am

What does it say about me that I read that and went, yeah? So? What did you do wrong? If that story was about me, my daughter would've been sick because she only vomits when she's really sick. So (just being honest here) I'd have probably stuck her in the car “to rest” (and not cling to me) while I nipped next door to grab my yogurt. And a small plain cup for her to settle her stomach.

The Empress March 3, 2011, 6:17 am

We are all human. And cannot be expected to handle every moment with energy and full zeal.

You were there, that's what they'll see.

virtual hugs.

diane rene March 3, 2011, 12:51 pm

the biggest treat in my house is when hubby is traveling and I, mom of the year :::snort:::, announce “dessert for dinner!”

I have no excuses to back this up. I haven't been pregnant in over a decade, my long days at the office have been absent almost as long, and well, tired is just a part of life. I do it cuz I like it!

so either you're not so bad, or I'm just as horrible. either way, you're not alone 😉

WTH am I Doing? March 3, 2011, 2:22 pm

Hehehe – your kids are way lucky. I'd have just eaten the ice cream in front of them & then yelled at them for whining. I'm a way mean mommy.

Since I've been pregnant? I've kept the head spinning & pea soup spitting pretty much under control, but when it comes to ice cream & whining? Eh, not so much. 😉

PartlySunny March 3, 2011, 3:04 pm

I'm not even pregnant and I sit down most nights with dirty kids tucked into dirty beds, and I wonder when the energy for my best effort will ever arrive. But now that I'm writing this, I'm thinking that maybe you and I HAVE made our best efforts. Because best effort doesn't necessarily equal best result. Some days, you just have more to give.

XLMIC March 3, 2011, 3:14 pm

lol… We all stand beside you, Rachel… you are not alone!

Heather March 3, 2011, 3:41 pm

You are definitely not alone on this one!!

Getrealmommy March 3, 2011, 8:38 pm

Thanks for your support ladies!

NHGirl March 3, 2011, 8:44 pm

My philosophy is “if at the end of the day, they are still alive and in one piece, bravo”. So you did a stellar job. 🙂

Marsha Shaw March 4, 2011, 7:18 am

Now I feel less guilty letting you eat pancake syrup from your highchair tray while I talked at Perkins for an hour with my friend.

Linda March 5, 2011, 11:12 am

I think I went into a bit of shock at the vomit point, though I don't know if there's a mommy out there that wouldn't at least have liked to have done what you did that day. Baby 3 will certainly make you appreciate the ease of only 2. Add 4 to that number and you'll find the lines of what I SHOULD do and what I actually do thinning even more… even if we don't let others know 🙂

PartlySunny March 5, 2011, 7:58 pm

@Linda: Yeah, but here we DO let others know! Share the love. . .

Kristi March 8, 2011, 10:26 am

I love reading about what other moms “surrender” when they are having a defeated day and just want a little “peace.” Makes me feel better about my own give ins.

Dee March 8, 2011, 10:34 am

Lol I give in to my nieces all the time and my sister gets so angry because then they expect the same treatment from their parents. I don't blame you though – sometimes kids get too rowdy! 🙂

deeg131 at gmail dot com

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