Remember the whole, “Everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten” thing? Well, Janis Meredith of jbm thinks basically applies that to sports. She’s married to a coach and her kids are all athletes, so she’s got plenty of experience. Which probably also means she does a lot of laundry and lives out of her car.
I’ve always thought I was a halfway decent mom.
I mean, I sacrificed a lot for my three kids — homeschooling them for four years until I couldn’t stand it anymore, traveling to all their sports events, serving as team mom on many occasions — I could go on and on.
But two weeks ago, I did something that made me feel like the worst sports mom ever.
My youngest daughter starts on her high school varsity volleyball team. But on this particular night, she really struggled. I mean, it just seemed as if she couldn’t do anything right. In fact, she and the coach were actually laughing about it. Even when he pulled her out of the game. It was just not her night.
After the game, she was pretty upbeat, laughing at herself, handling the bad night pretty well.
Until I opened my big freaking mouth.
“Aren’t you afraid you’re going to lose your starting spot?”
Instantly, her cheerful demeanor vanished. She was mad, she was tearful. She raised her voice.
“Don’t you think I’ve already thought about it?” She sobbed. “I can’t believe you just said that!”
Sigh. Neither could I.
Darn! What was I thinking? Was I thinking?
Maybe it was my way of trying to motivate her. Maybe I couldn’t understand how the heck she could be so cheerful after such a bad night.
But really it doesn’t matter what I was or wasn’t thinking. What matters is that I said something that really hurt my daughter. And the 1 ½ hour car ride home was not pleasant.
I profusely apologized. I felt like the worst kind of crap. But it doesn’t matter how I felt; I could not take my words back.
By night’s end, she’d forgiven me. And I guess I’ve forgiven myself, but I cringe every time I think of what I said that night.
And the lesson was driven home. Think about what you say before you say it. My mother always said that, why didn’t I listen to her? After all, she was the world’s best mom ever.
Tammy Soong is a writer, wife, and mom from Reno, Nevada. She takes an absurd amount of pain medication, but not enough to have actually named her children "Newt" and "Elfie." She spends most days stressing out over clutter, writing stuff for this place, and working on podcasts with her gal pals, the Blogging Betties.
I totally hear you. I am the master of this. It's like something takes over my mouth and things just come out. My husband gets this horrified look on his face (which he then tries to cover up). Like today, skiing, 2 of our girls crashed together – nothing too dramatic, more like slow motion body/ski tangle. My oldest got really upset because her sister was on her ski and she couldn't get up. My husband got them sorted out and the crying stopped. My oldest skis down to wear I am waiting, but ends up skiing right into me. Instead of seeing how she is, giving her a hug, or something like that, I say, “Don't crash into people – you are a better skier than that.” Instant regret (was this really time for a lesson?) and of course the tears start again. Sigh…..
There is no way to be perfect. Every now and then you are going to stick your foot in your mouth. Don't beat yourself up. You care, so clearly you are NOT the world's worst mom! Sorry! I think I am going to retain that title!
Rachel (www.getrealmama.blogspot.com)
I feel like I do this kind of thing way too often. And the best way to describe it is that it makes me feel like a bully. Because it's always easy to make someone feel small when you have the upper hand, right? What's hard is to inspire and encourage and motivate. I seem to be much better at making my husband's eyes glaze over or causing him to hide under his covers while weeping. . . Wait, did I say husband? I meant children. CHILDREN. I'm really, really nice to my husband. . .:)
with kids and sports…you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Do you acknowledge a bad game or ignore it? I've never chosen the right option…it's not possible as it's ALWAYS the one you didn't pick. SHe'll surive. You'll survive. It's happens.
Oh Immuna love this blog!!!! Come see me at http://www.adayinmotherhood.com!
Oh Immuna love this blog!!!! Come see me at http://www.adayinmotherhood.com!
I totally hear you. I am the master of this. It's like something takes over my mouth and things just come out. My husband gets this horrified look on his face (which he then tries to cover up). Like today, skiing, 2 of our girls crashed together – nothing too dramatic, more like slow motion body/ski tangle. My oldest got really upset because her sister was on her ski and she couldn't get up. My husband got them sorted out and the crying stopped. My oldest skis down to wear I am waiting, but ends up skiing right into me. Instead of seeing how she is, giving her a hug, or something like that, I say, “Don't crash into people – you are a better skier than that.” Instant regret (was this really time for a lesson?) and of course the tears start again. Sigh…..